Pain pain go away come back another day?

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I’ve recently been reading a few exerts from a great website by DanielleLaPorte.com and especially loved a post about learning to open up more.

Danielle says ‘Openness is a three step process: 1. Open. 2. Stay open. 3. Open some more’

Sounds easy right?

Wrong (well for me anyway),  being open is about a lot more than opening your mouth and letting whatever you say or feel come flying out.

What is Openness?

‘Doing openness’ is letting your heart open up even if it feels like it’s being ripped open and then still going back for more, not running as far away as humanly possible just to escape the pain.  And if you’re anything like me you’d do just about everything, like cutting off your right arm, than actually open up about anything important especially if it’s personal.

For me personally I think the lack of openness in my family caused a blockage for me in later life.  I struggled with saying what I thought just in case I wasn’t liked or rejected for it.  I have since then been tested time and time again either through the people I meet or the situations I encounter, which has been hard and still is if I am honest.

I do believe however, the more I am open and continue to be the more I believe I’ll be come a natural at it. I hope!

So how do we become more open?

The stages are below:

  • You’ll have feelings of doubt and fear.  However, its right here and right now that you choose to go ahead and be open anyway. This is where you look your fears and uncertainty in the face and confront them head on.
  • At the same time you’ll feel the fear in your body as well as in your mind.  Feelings of anxiety and perhaps tightness of chest you’ll be experiencing.  Know that these are happening because as you are steering your fearful thoughts into openness they’ll need a way of escaping.
  • You’ll declare that you are afraid.  You know what you really want is on the other side of this fear and if being open gets you through that door – you’ll have to do it.
  • Next you’ll ask for strength to go through with it. Here is where you’ll ask for courage so that you’ll be able to do it time and time again.

You’ve done it, now is the time to believe, have faith and let go.

The thing is with being open, it becomes a risk and risk leads you to uncertainty and you’ll ask ‘will I be rejected if I open up right now?

This is where you do it anyway, your only chance of growing is to open up and experience and then open up some more.  The next time it will be easier and you’ll get stronger each and every time.

I’m up for trying it.  How about you?

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2 thoughts on “Pain pain go away come back another day?

  1. I love reading YOur great website! I found this subject very important and so close to heart of what I am studying right now 😃 I really enjoyed your explanation about the heart: ” … as you are steering your fearful thoughts into openness they’ll need a way of escaping”
    Looking forward to read more from you! ❤

    • Thank you Lotta I am so encouraged by you and your posts back to me! Thank you so much. You do realise that I am on the journey too, I speak about it because I am learning as I go 🙂 have a great day and thank you 🙂

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